#Borderline I am Fine - Most of the Time

I hope this poem helps you find courage in knowing you're not the only one to have experienced it. There are days when it just sucks and its important to honour those too.

I’m not fine

I’m fine, borderline.

Hide the emotion in my muscles,

In my skin.

Knee jerk reaction to angry scream,

Give in.

You can’t ride out the emotions if you’re

Beneath the waves.

The emotion takes over, the sadness and the pain.

But if I stop for a moment

I’ll realise

Was this just about the washing up

Or cleaning of the car?

The emotion wasn’t warranted.

It was triggered

And yet how far

It has taken us beyond the border,

The boundaries set,

Which I hardly knew existed.

But it’s a myth that boundaries

Are completely dropped. Become a thing of the

past

The closer you are to someone.

No, the opposite is true.

True healthy borders last.

Angry words spoken as you leave the room.

To you, the sorry now is just a token.

And we’ve said it all before.

There’s nothing more that I can give you.

Not when I’m like this.

I’m working on it.

I don’t know if I’m fine.

I’m working on it.

Until recently I couldn’t name it.

I didn’t even know it.

I’m borderline.